Entertainment &Sports admin on 15 Jul 2006 12:43 pm
Starr Jones Reynolds Lands New Gig
(FiniteTimes.com) – News that Starr Jones Reynolds has packed back on the pounds and is pursuing a career with the Negro Sumo Wrestling League has the entertainment industry abuzz.
“I don’t think anyone here is too surprised,” Barbara Walters told The Finite Times yesterday post-View. “No one on my staff dared to get anywhere near a donut when Starr was in her tubby prime.”
Friends of Mrs. Jones Reynolds say the View-alum is looking forward to her upcoming bouts and indeed has been since June 9, 2000.
“She and Oprah were at some charity event together, and this is when Oprah was fat, ya know?” said longtime friend Alicia Adams. “Well, Oprah and Starr both went for the last roll at the same time, and it was go time. You ain’t never seen so much quivering ebony flesh in your life.”
And the winner?
“Oh please. Starr kicked O’s black ass to the curb. She been hooked on knockin’ niggers upside the head ever since.”
If she wrestles well, Star Jones Reynolds could be vying for the coveted Negro Sumo Cup as early as October when Salt Lake City hosts the prestigious Pseudo Sumo Black Smackdown Olympics (call 1-555-2763 for tickets… many are still available!).
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