Education &Politics admin on 15 Jun 2006 12:36 pm
Rumsfeld to Clowns: “Fill those big shoes.”
(FiniteTimes.com) – Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was center-stage Tuesday when he gave the commencement speech at the 12th graduation of the Cleveland Clown College.
“Am I happy to be here? Yes I am. Did I ship off to Gitmo the idiot who tried to make me do this with grease paint on? Yes I did,” Rumsfeld told the brightly-colored crowd.
In addition to offering nuggets of advice such as “You don’t go to the big top with the little car you want; you go with the little car you have,” Rumsfeld displayed his emotional side when he described how as a child he was terrified of clowns, and how all that changed one day.
“His name was Bobo, and he was an older male clown. He befriended me, took me under his wing, and we had a very special relationship,” Rumsfeld said, dabbing at his eye. “He let me play with his big red nose, and squeeze his squirting flower, and… I’m sorry, I need a minute…”
Despite a well-organized protest effort by the college’s Mime Department, Rumsfeld was able to get through his speech without any further interruptions, his voice occasionally rising to be heard above the “Whoosh! Whoosh!” of five dozen mimes pretending they were trapped in a room. Or a war. It wasn’t real clear.
In keeping with the college’s tradition, several pie-toting clowns rushed the stage after Rumsfeld’s speech concluded. While several Secret Service members suffered meringue abrasions, their injuries are not considered serious.
The 14 bullet-riddled clowns involved in the incident have not been identified pending next of kin notification.
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