President Bush Conducts… The War?

(FiniteTimes.com) – When President Bush grabbed up a baton on Sunday and led the Virginia Symphony Orchestra in a few bars of “Stars and Stripes Forever,” many in the audience simple assumed it was the man’s quirky sense of humor that fueled it. Or a healthy shot from the flask that Secret Service Agent #6 is assigned to carry at all times (#7 has the nuclear football). Few would have guessed the truth: that Bush was sending complex field strategy orders to his commanders in Iraq.

“Notice the broad flourishes, the almost playful, arrogant sweep of the arm here, and, hold it… here,” said Dr. Aria Melman as she watched a video of the event with The Finite Times. Dr. Melman is Director of the Yale Communications Department and a leading expert on audible and visual coding. “He’s either an incredible jackass or a very gifted coder. Flip a coin.”

Dr. Melman and other coding experts believe that what Bush was employing on Sunday was songaphore, or a musical version of semaphore, to send a message to his Iraqi troops. Former army coding expert retired-Major Daniel Singer agrees.

“The chances are good that he was sitting in the crowd at this Jamestown settlement ceremony and had a strategic brainstorm that just would not wait for conventional channels, so he went with songaphore,” said retired-Major Singer. “Observers in Iraq would be constantly monitoring presidential appearances, looking for just such messages. We did it in my day as well, when Gerald Ford would send intricate tripaphore messages. President Gerry loved the cloak and dagger stuff.”

This incident has also opened up a new interest in President Bush’s impromptu dance last month when a West African Troupe performed at the White House during Malaria Awareness Day. If Bush was using that incident to also send messages, it means that he would additionally be fluent in a dance version of semaphore, polkaphore, that was made famous by the late Russian leader Boris Yeltsin.

If it is proven that Bush is literate in both songaphore and polkaphore, he would become the first U.S. president in history to be conversant in multiple semaphore-related languages. The White House said it could not comment on tactical communications issues.

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