Next Battle Lines Drawn In Democratic Primary

(FiniteTimes.com) – The truce between the two top Democratic presidential contenders lasted barely 24 hours before the next skirmish broke out. And this time, the issue Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were squaring off over even surprised seasoned politicos.

“We’re going to take her supporters, we’re going to take her friends, we’re going to take her family too. Yes, her family too!” Obama told a cheering crowd in Reno, Nevada. “And we’re going to march, march ‘till our tired feet are raised up by our soaring spirits, march ‘till we’ve reached the pop-singer’s house, and we’re going to ring out as one: ‘Change! Change! God almighty Britney, please change!’”

Both Clinton and Obama have abandoned the racist smears and sexist swipes that have marked the past couple of weeks in favor of a safer battlefield from which to curry favor and capture votes: the shattered life of pop-wreck Britney Spears. But whereas Obama favors an intervention approach, Clinton’s plan is much more aggressive.

“I’d send Janet Reno in with a whole army of psychologists, maybe a tank or two just to show we mean business,” Clinton said during a break from campaigning in South Carolina. “Listen, this is an experience issue, and I quite frankly have the edge here over my opponent, whose children aren’t even teenagers yet.

“Who was there when Chelsea was on the chronic? When we thought she was pregnant with Carrot Top’s love child? I was,” Clinton said, tapping the “Me! ’08!” button pinned to her chest.

While taking on “Britney Fatigue” can certainly have benefits both in California and nationally, Democratic strategist Huey Sedgwick says the campaigns’ efforts do not come without some risks.

“Both sides are looking to pick up votes in a very important Super Tuesday state, and promising to cure, put away or put down what has become a very tiring story is one way to do it, but they should take care,” Sedgwick says. “If Obama gets too touchie-feelie, he’s going to turn off the important angry black male demographic. And if Hillary gets too tough, she’s just going to feed into the ‘Mafia Clinton’ meme that is so pervasive on the right. God forbid she or a surrogate literally beat Britney to death in search of change, the Vince Foster thing will resurface and dog her for the rest of the primary.”

Further complicating the issue is the United Federation of Tabloid Journalists, which is threatening to file a lawsuit that would prevent candidate interference designed to “limit ability to ply one’s trade.”

Lawyers on all sides have a couple of weeks to work out the issues before California, and Britney, take center stage.

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