Kotex to Endorse Obama

(FiniteTimes.com) – Kotex parent-company Kimberly-Clark has announced that it will be endorsing Barak Obama in his bid to capture the 2008 Democratic nomination for president.

“We feel that Mr. Obama has the message that most resonates with these times, that of hope, change, freshness,” said a Kimberly-Clark spokeswoman. “We wholeheartedly endorse his candidacy, and will do all we can to insert him into the White House come November.”

In addition to a public endorsement, Kimberly-Clark plans on giving a generous campaign contribution to their preferred candidate and will host a New Orleans-style Ragtime-jazz benefit near their Dallas corporate headquarters in mid-February. A specially-imprinted Kotex feminine hygiene product will also hit the shelves next week.

While the Obama campaign has had little comment on the endorsement so far, Hillary Clinton is reported to be furious.

“She feels betrayed, disappointed obviously,” said a source from inside the Clinton campaign. “She supported the Kotex brand for years. Not so much lately, it’s true, but still, she assumed that a company so invested with female issues would naturally support her nomination. It’s frustrating.”

That frustration spilled forth shortly after the endorsement was made public when the New York state branch of the National Organization for Women (NOW) – still reeling from Sentator Kennedy’s Obama endorsement – issued a terse press release condemning Kimberly-Clark’s decision.

“If you are a prick to us, do we not bleed!? If you wrong us, shall we not revenge!? This decision by Kimberlt-Clark is a crotch-kick to women everywhere! Long have we supported you, and now this! No more! We’d rather have balled up Kleenex and bailing twine over your traitorous products! Hillary! Hillary! Hillary!”

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