Hillary Behind Voodoo Doll Deployment?

(FiniteTimes.com) – The first one appeared by chance.

“I was cleaning up one of the rooms that her staff had occupied – they had the whole gosh darned wing – and it was there under the bed near an empty doughnut box,” recalls Vera Johnson, a chambermaid at the Cincinnati Embassy Suites Hotel. “I seen them movies, and it as likes to scare the bejesus out of me.”

What Chambermaid Johnson had discovered was the first of many Barack Obama voodoo dolls that have begun springing up in key primary battleground states. From a rest room at the Alamo to the trash bin at a Pittsburgh Arby’s, the dolls have many political insiders scratching their heads and many late-night talk show hosts reaching for their joke pens.

“Leno’s been hitting with the ‘Hillary is a prick’ and ‘ Obama has a pain in the ass and thinks it might be Hillary’ jokes all week,” says CNN political entertainment correspondent Donna St. Claire. “I think Letterman is planning on a ‘top 10 signs that a Clinton is sticking it to you’ list either tonight or tomorrow night. (Note; The Finite Times has learned that #1 on that list will be “You get a dry cleaning bill for a blue dress.”)

“It is funny, but also kind of sad in a way,” St. Claire says. “Is this what her campaign has come to? Superstition and B-movie campaign strategies?”

While no one has yet definitively proven that the Clinton campaign is behind the dolls, the evidence against her is becoming almost as damning as the delegate math. The dolls are increasingly showing up where campaign staff members have recently been. A number of Haitian advisors have recently begun traveling with Hillary, as has a small flock of chickens and the occasional goat. Bizarre, zombie-like campaign appearances by Clinton surrogates such as Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell have also come under increased scrutiny.

“While I think claiming that Rendell is a Clinton zombie slave may be going a little far – he’s probably just angling for VP – it is becoming apparent that Hillary’s campaign is almost certainly behind the dolls,” says a source with the Obama campaign. “We assume its some sort of joke, or at the very worst a ‘Hey lookie, Barack is black’ thing. Whatever it is, many of us have stared carrying Mojo bags You know, just in case.”

As for Chambermaid Johnson, she now has something special to add to her campaign memorabilia collection.

“It scared me a bit at first, but it certainly wasn’t a pain to clean up or anything,” Johnson says. “Certainly nothing like the goat sacrifice they left two rooms down. Nowhere near that bad, nope.”

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