Politics admin on 08 Jul 2006 10:10 am
Fencing Bill Hides Provisions
(FiniteTimes.com) – While all Congressmen gathered behind President Bush at Thursday’s fence bill signing ceremony had wide smiles on their faces, these smiles could literally disappear if a provision of the bill is implemented. And it all hinges on the up-coming mid-term elections.
The provision states:
The president shall, at his discretion and in response to perceived domestic hostilities, authorize the construction of a linear structure not to exceed seven (7) feet high within the area of the District of Columbia proper; specifically within the Capitol Building grid of said District; specifically within or around the primary structure located within such grid; specifically until such time as domestic hostilities shall cease.
“Basically it lets the president build a fence in Congress,” The Finite Times Washington Legal Correspondent Sy Garcia said. “Either right down the center of it or around it. I would imagine it would depend on whether the Democrats capture just one or both chambers of Congress in the upcoming election.”
Press Secretary Tony Snow confirmed that the administration was keeping all options on the table in case it lost either the House or the Senate on November 7.
“It’s like any neighborhood. If your neighbors are good, no problem. If they’re terrorist-hugging tax and spend peace-pussies, slap up a fence,” Snow said at yesterday’s press gaggle. “Nobody wants Mexicans or Murthas pissing on their lawns now, do they?”
In a statement released to the press yesterday afternoon, the Democratic leadership of both chambers decried what they called “chain link politics” and vowed to overturn the congressional fencing provision and replace it with a pivot hedge amendment if they seized control in the upcoming elections. Whichever side prevails, Halliburton has already announced that it has won the no-bid project and will be ready to construct either fence or hedge when Congress reconvenes in January.
The Finite Times Landscaping Editor Daniella DeGlazica contributed to this report.
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