CSI Pens a Toe-Tag For McCain

(FiniteTimes.com) – Seeking to breath life into his flagging presidential campaign, Senator John McCain announced today that he will be appearing in a future episode of the hit CBS TV show, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

“I did a little acting when I was a prisoner of war, but gosh that was years ago,” McCain said at a campaign stop in Fleur d’Merde, Quebec. “Of course, my lines then were pretty simple. ‘John McCain, Lieutenant Commander, Serial Number 899498-9855-9, ahhhhhhhhhhhh!’

“I’m looking forward to this new challenge.”

Hollywood insiders tell The Finite Times that apparently McCain’s ability to remain motionless will be more taxed than his ability to act.

“He’s on the cast sheet as Corpse #1,” said one source close to the CSI production crew. “He does have one line. ‘Hey, do you smell something?’, then boom, big explosion, body parts everywhere. He spends most of the episode on a metal table.”

For their part, the cast, regardless of political affiliations, seems excited to have Senator McCain on board for the episode.

“Not to play spoiler, but the Senator’s artificial limb (received due to injuries sustained in the Vietnam War) could prove forensically interesting,” said William Peterson, who plays head investigator Gil Grissom on the show. “John was great in rehearsals. His depiction of a corpse was just eerie, and I’ve seen lots of corpse depictions.”

This isn’t the first time a politician has turned to the small screen to try and prop up a campaign. Not surprisingly, Ronald Reagan had the most success utilizing this ploy with a guest appearance as cousin Gipper Duke in a 1979 episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. Reagan later went on the sweep the 1980 election’s highly coveted Redneck Dad demographic.

The CSI episode staring John McCain is scheduled to air September 27th at 9 pm.

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