Couric On-Air Breast Exam Nixed

(FiniteTimes.com) – Famous for the on-air colonoscopy she underwent a few years ago, Katie Couric had a couple of more points she wanted to make on her final Today show broadcast Wednesday. But age – and gravity – intervened.

“She wanted to close out with an on-air breast exam,” said associate producer Sarah Fletcher. “Because of the nature of such an exam, her full breasts would have been exposed. Unfortunately she was having a bad tit day. The puppies just weren’t so perky.”

The Finite Times has learned that Couric originally wanted to do an on-air pap smear, but producers killed that idea after she sent them several Xerox copies of her middle-aged kitty.

“It wasn’t a pretty sight,” an anonymous source close to the program said. “You could tell she’d had extensive work done down there. Matt Lauer kept calling her ‘Mingezilla’.”

Couric is still hoping to get free medical care both a pap smear and a breast exam when she starts anchoring the CBS evening news in September. She may have some ratings competition, though. NBC’s Brian Williams has reportedly been contemplating a story involving penile, testicular and prostate cancer and has been interviewing every attractive female urologist in the New York area.

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