Category ArchiveU.S.
Politics & U.S. admin on 11 Aug 2010
“Bring a Minority To Work Day” Set For September 20
(FiniteTimes.com) - One of the recurring claims that has hounded tea partiers across the country over the past few months is that the movement has a thread of racism woven through to its core. Several regional tea party organizations have banded together to refute this claim in an innovative way. Continue Reading »
Business & Environment & U.S. admin on 02 Jun 2010
Source: BP Fabricating Another Gusher Solution
(FiniteTimes.com) - With top kill a dismal failure and cut & cap still an unknown in-progress, a source close to BP says that the company has decided upon yet another strategy to stop the flow of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, and is even now hurriedly building what the source is calling “a sure-fire solution”. Continue Reading »
U.S. & Week In Pictures admin on 04 Feb 2010
Week In Pictures: Turner Wins His Beef
Ted Turner this week won the right to 88 bison from a faltering Montana program designed to protect the animals. An overjoyed Turner immediately set to work “improving” the bison, releasing the above photo that he is calling “Colorized Cow, 1″.
Politics & U.S. admin on 12 Aug 2009
Oklahoma Okays New Birther License Plates
OKLAHOMA CITY (CAP) - A source at the Oklahoma governor’s office has confirmed to CAP News that the state will be the first in the union to officially sanction the so-called “Birther” belief that President Obama was born in Kenya by issuing a special commemorative license plate.
“There has been a lot of call for something like this, so we’re only giving in to what our most vocal Oklahomans seem to want,” said an aide to Gov. Brad Henry. “If President Obama wishes to clear any of this up by producing the long version of his birth certificate, we’d be happy to add a note mentioning that on the back of the plate.”
While the plates will be ready for use by the middle of next month at the earliest, they will not be available for everyone. Birthers will have to prove themselves by first demonstrating their knowledge of relevant information, such as biblical facts, Rush Limbaugh trivia and generalized awareness of historical and current right-wing talking points.
Read the entire article here:
U.S. admin on 16 Apr 2009
Liberal Gun-Hoarding on the Rise
From rusty pickups to cherry Harleys to hulking Hummers, Earl’s Gun-Porium in Peachville, Georgia has seen a wide range of vehicles parked outside its camouflaged doors, but owner Earl LaMotte is still surprised by what’s been showing up in his parking spaces of late.
Volvos.
“Used to be my doors would swing open and in would come a good old boy in a wife-beater or flannel shirt,” Earl says. “Now it’s more often than not a doctor or lawyer in a fruity sweater with Chinos or tennis shorts, polluting the place up with their Sex In The City ring tones.”
Earl shrugs. “Long as their money’s green, what do I care?”
Read the whole article at CAP News:
Politics & U.S. admin on 10 Sep 2008
McCain to Propose Oil Well Tax Credit
Energy is shaping up to be one of the primary issues that voters will be weighing this November, and to combat that, the McCain campaign launched an intensive campaign this week to capture the energy vote with a plan they are calling “A Gusher On Every Plot.”
“Reliance on imported oil is weakening our ability to sweep into foreign countries and smack them with the freedom stick. My friends, this I will not allow,” McCain said Wednesday at a Victory Rally in Fairfax.
“I aim to make sure that every decent American who wants to put an oil well in their back yard to help us drill drill drill our way to energy independence is rewarded by my administration for doing so,” McCain added.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Living & U.S. admin on 08 Jul 2008
Pathological Gamblers Flock to Buy No-Chance Tickets
When Manny Alberez ripped open his morning paper to check on his horse stats, ball scores and pick-three numbers, his eyes quickly settled on a story that made his heart race like a wheel of fortune before ticking back to a more rhythmic beat.
“This guy in the south was suing the state because the big prize for a scratch ticket he bought had already been won,” Manny recalled. He was referring to business professor Scott Hoover, who this week announced he was suing the state of Virginia for breach of contract related to their Beginner’s Luck scratch tickets.
“And I was thinking like, wow, no chance?” Alberez continued. “Those are crazy odds. And then I got what we in the gambling world call a boner.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
Living & U.S. admin on 07 Jul 2007
Eagle Delisting a Boon for Homeless Chef
Thirty years is a long time to wait between appetizer and entrée. Just ask Larry Elliot. In the early 1960’s, Elliot was an out-of-work hand model, forced to return to his native Missouri and an uncertain future.
“I used to do wart commercials and manly soap spots in Hollywood, but towards the end I was only getting stunt-hand jobs in second-rate porno projects,” Elliot said from his modest Missouri homeless shelter cubicle. “I thought, home has got to be better than this, but it weren’t.”
Homeless and hungry, Elliot turned to scavenging for his meals, subsisting on dumpster dives and road-kill ratatouille for sustenance. It was a bleak culinary existence, a dining depression that kept hitting low after low. Then one, day, all that changed.
See the whole article at CAP News:
U.S. admin on 20 Apr 2007
President Bush to Honor “Gnat Guard”
When Bob Pritchett first got the early morning call on April 15th, he thought someone was having him on.
“Here was this guy with a cowboy drawl saying, Bobby Boy, I’m calling up your troops, prepare to get wet, heh heh, and I’m thinking yeah, right,” Pritchett recalled. “Then the photo-op crew showed up with their cameras and mics, and I knew my country needed me.”
The midnight cowboy caller in question was indeed President George W. Bush, and the troops he was calling up to deal with area flooding were Boy Scouts from Troop 124, out of Wayne, New Jersey. While the New Jersey National Guard usually gets such assignments, Troop 124 was less busy “bringing democracy,” and thus got the call.
“It was cool. I got to earn my Swimming badge, and my Rowing badge, and my End Times Preparedness badge,” said First Class Scout Rusty Jones.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Entertainment & U.S. admin on 31 Jan 2007
Here She Gums, Miss America
Less than 48 hours after first feeling the glorious weight of the Miss America tiara resting on her head, Oklahoma’s Lauren Nelson was out, stripped of her title and her dignity after a series of racy photos involving herself and a gang of midget gynecology students hit the Internet. Pageant officials wasted no time in naming a replacement.
“Ida Scrump is a remarkable woman, a pillar in her retirement community, and a fine, upstanding albeit slightly hunched-over individual,” said Sam Haskell, chairman of the Miss America Organization board. The 86-year-old Scrump beamed beside him.
See the whole article at CAP News:
