The Finite Times

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Due to the Virginia Tech shooting tragedy, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has been granted an additional two days to prepare for his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee. It is time, experts believe, that he may be using to consider an unconventional testimonial strategy. Continue Reading »

Los Angeles, CA (FiniteTimes.com) – GOP presidential hopeful John McCain on Wednesday plunged headlong into the male grooming industry by announcing the launch of his first cologne, Maverick for Men. The announcement took place at the end of a joint appearance with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on the docks of Los Angeles Harbor. Continue Reading »

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Republican lawmakers on Capitol Hill Tuesday were applauding the news that President Bush’s 2.9 trillion dollar budget would actually come in lower than originally predicted. Continue Reading »

Miami, FL (FiniteTimes.com) – Officials for the National Football League publicly rebuked Senator Joseph Biden Saturday for “outing” a Senator Barack Obama Ivory soap ad that is scheduled to air during the Super Bowl. Continue Reading »

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Seeking to stem the flood of negative testimony their client is facing in his perjury and obstruction of justice trial, attorneys for former White House aide I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby have announced that veteran actor George Takei will be joining their defense team. Takei’s primary responsibility will be the closing argument. Continue Reading »

Barbara Bush Boulevard, Baghdad, Iraq (FiniteTimes.com) – President Bush’s State of the Union speech wasn’t hard to miss in Baghdad on Wednesday. The capitol city’s one state-run television station, Iraqi Free TV, abandoned its usual fare of Fox News and The Andy Griffith Show episodes to show the address marathon-fashion throughout the day. But it was a much different speech than the one the American people saw. Continue Reading »

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – The Senate grilling of Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was abruptly halted on Thursday when a relieved Ms. Rice was unexpectedly called away to tend to an urgent matter. The matter? Continue Reading »

Harlem, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – When Ella Mae Daniels turned up at the Apollo Theater to pay her last respects to Godfather of Soul James Brown, she, along with every other mourner, was shocked. Continue Reading »

Richmond, VA (CAP) – Rumsfeld-admirers the world over awoke Monday to the welcome news that their hero had landed on his feet with the acceptance of a new position: Cubmaster of Richmond Scout Pack 427. Continue Reading »