Business admin on 23 May 2007 11:38 am
Burger Icon Feels The Heat
(FiniteTimes.com) – Four decades of fast food clowning teetered on the edge of irrelevance yesterday when it was revealed that longtime McDonald’s spokesman Ronald McDonald was also pitching drug paraphernalia in the 1960’s. The revelation appears in Subway spokesman Jared Fogel’s new autobiography, “Porn and Pickle Chips: My College Years,” which hits bookstores June 1.
“One day I was hanging out with Ronald, and we were drinking Sangria, I think,” Jared writes. “Ronald gets so hammered that he starts to tell me this story about the 60’s, about how he was not only working on fast food commercials, but was also Ronald McBongLoad, the pitchman for a Venice head shop called Toke ‘N Choke.
“He was laughing, saying how he had the whole life cycle of a pothead sewn up. First he’d get them high, then he’d take care of their munchies. The kids used to call him Reefer Ron,” Jared recalls. “Then he got sick all over my bathroom and we went down to sing Culture Club karaoke at the Holiday Inn. It was a good day.”
The McDonald’s restaurant chain has refused to comment on the story, and it is unclear at this time whether the most-recognized restaurant icon in the United States will continue in his present roll or whether he will be forced into retirement. A man who has felt similar heat in the past feels that the clown will persevere.
“Have you seen how many of them can fit in a little car? Oh man,” said Benjamin Curtis, the one-time Stephen from the “Dude, You’re Getting a Dell” commercials. His relationship with Dell ended in 2003 after we was arrested for trying to buy marijuana.
“He’s a survivor, dude. He’ll land on his big feet. And have you ever been in a McDonald’s after midnight on a weekend? Whoa ho ho, that place is floating six feet off the ground everyone’s so high, dude” Curtis said. “They aren’t going to do anything to piss off the stoners. No way.”
Ronald McDonald is the second fast food celebrity to hit the gossip sheets this year. Back in February it was revealed that “The King” from the Burger King commercials was not a man in a mask, but actually actor Ted Edvert, who suffered a horribly-disfiguring Botox reaction back in 2004.
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