"Bring a Minority To Work Day" Set For September 20

(FiniteTimes.com) – One of the recurring claims that has hounded tea partiers across the country over the past few months is that the movement has a thread of racism woven through to its core. Several regional tea party organizations have banded together to refute this claim in an innovative way.

“We’re calling it ‘Bring a Minority To Work Day’, and it’s basically a celebration that says we white folks care for everyone, regardless of how they’re colorized,” says Randy Evans, Grand Imperial Wizard of the Tennessee-based Tennettea Baggers. “One of the boys wanted to go with ‘Bring a Brother To Work Day’, or ‘Bring a Beaner To Work Day’, but us being NOT racist in the least, we got a good chuckle out of it and said ‘No way, Jose’.

“Of course, his name was Bob and not Jose, but you get the idea,” Evans says.

Set for Monday, September 20th, the day will feature tea baggers from a number of regional chapters reaching into their local minority populations to bring select men and women into their places of business to show them how white people do business. While the tea bag party leaders are heralding it as an unprecedented outreach program designed to bring the races together, others are a bit more tepid on the idea

“Kiss my black ass, that’s what I told the guy,” says Dave Whitcomb, an African-American security guard from the Atlanta area. “He comes up to me and says we were all brothers and he was going to show me the value of work, I can sweep his office or something.

“I’m on my feet all night making minimum wage. I know the value of work, thank you very much.”

Tea bag party leaders warn that not all minorities will be eligible to participate.

“We will obviously be looking at green cards, and making sure no one’s going to be wearing Panther Power t-shirts or whatever,” says Randy Evans. “And this isn’t a paying thing. It’s more one of those photo-oppy, collaboration of the races things. Although we may spring for lunch, a taco or cheeseburger or something.

“And if it works out, hey fantastic! Maybe we’ll make it a weekly event. Wouldn’t that be something?” Evans says.

Regardless of how many fences it is able to mend between the tea party and minority groups, the announcement of “Bring a Minority To Work Day” is proving to be something of a nightmare for one group: Republican congressional aides.

“They cancelled our vacations and have us scouring their districts looking for good, cooperative minority people so that they can participate in this thing,” said one aide, who requested anonymity. “My boss is frantic, but I’m not a goddamn magician, you know?”

In an unexpected move, the White House announced that it will be participating in the event.

“President Obama looks forward to bringing a tea bagger with him to the Oval Office on September 20th,” the administration said in a brief statement.

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