Entertainment admin on 16 Sep 2007 08:29 am
Bin Laden, Griffin: Up In A Tree?
(FiniteTimes.com ) – FBI analysts are saying that a video posted to several radical Muslim Websites over the weekend – the second such video in a week – may indeed be that of Al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden. While the mannerisms and physical characteristics of the terrorist front-man appear to be consistent with those of bin Laden, the content of the message itself has raised some questions in the intelligence community as to the man’s future plans and intentions.
“I am here shouting out to Kathy Griffin. Girlfriend, I want to fill you with babies,” reads a translation of the tape’s text. In the tape, bin Laden clutches flowers and repeatedly and emotionally beats on his chest.
“Kathy, hear me now. We were made for each other. You hate Jesus, well I hate Jesus too! And the D-list thing? Oh come on, no one ever invites me anywhere anymore!” The three minute tape ends with bin Laden proposing, beseeching Griffin to call him “Ozzy,” and demanding that the United States leave Iraq immediately.
For some, bin Laden’s emotional taped plea didn’t come as a total surprise.
“Ever since Griffin told Jesus to ‘suck it’ at the Emmy Awards taping, the nuts have been coming out of the woodwork,” says Emmanuel Jones, a terrorism analyst with the Brookings Institute. “We may just be looking at a man – for let’s not forget that terrorists are human too – who is head over heels in love.
“And lest anyone pooh-posh the idea of them as a viable couple, let’s remember that bin Laden got his start in comedy clubs in and around Damascus in the early 1970’s,” Jones adds. “He originated the classic ‘A man comes upon two male camels in a desert…’ joke, so he’s a riot and half in his own right, when he’s not all evil and destructive and stuff.”
While the FBI says their final determination as to the tape’s authenticity will come later this week, they have verified that a couple calling themselves “Osama & His
Beloved Blond Western Whore” have registered at the Riyadh branch of Arabian boutique Nomad Marcus.
A spokesman for Kathy Griffin refused to comment for this article, which we’re taking as a solid “maybe.”
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