The Finite Times

In a move apparently designed to shore up support among conservative groups, embattled Idaho Sen. Larry Craig was arrested yesterday for what is being described as “inappropriate” behavior inside a Minneapolis airport women’s bathroom.

“We received a number of complaints in a short period of time that an individual was harassing and trying to hit on females in the airport bathroom,” said Minneapolis police department spokesman Edward Ballou. “Upon our arrival, we noticed said individual, who we later determined to be Sen. Craig, saying inappropriate things and handing out his business card to any woman within reach.”

“Oh, it was horrible,” recalled housewife Viola Singer. Mrs. Singer had been returning from a visit at her sister’s in Topeka when she was accosted by Craig.

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http://www.crystalair.com/content.php?id=78200708019

Alberto Gonzalez leans casually against the bar, no sign of his recent occupational problems evident on his face or in his mannerisms. Behind him in the murky depths of Houston’s Pedro’s Bar and Grill, his band’s first ever sound check is underway.

“I feel good, great even,” Gonzalez confesses as he absently twirls one of the frills on his western shirt. “I can’t recall ever feeling this sure about something. I mean seriously, I just can’t remember doing so.”

The “something” in this case is Gonzalez’ latest gig, a Latin country fusion band calling itself Alberto and the Gonzes. It’s a band of privilege, heavy on pricey equipment, light on talent. It’s rich with name recognition, yet poor on tempo, rhythm and completely lacking a credible 10-minute drum solo.

See the whole article at CAP News:

http://www.crystalair.com/content.php?id=18200708017

The Hollywood elite used to hire lawyers, publicists and managers to massage their all-important images whenever crisis hit. More often than not these days they are reaching for a mouse and pointing their browsers towards Wikipedia.

Wikipedia touts itself as the Internet’s foremost editable encyclopedia, a feature that lends itself to abuse. Just how abusive “editors” can be was apparent recently when Virgil Griffith’s WikiScanner let everyone see just who was making changes to Wikipedia entries.

While the WikiScanner revelation of editing-manipulation originating from computers at NASA, the White House and Fox News surprised few, many were shocked to discover that the Hollywood bad-girl clique is not only computer literate, but also apparently hell-bent on Wikipedia domination.

See the whole article at CAP News:

http://www.crystalair.com/content.php?id=49200708013

When it first splashed onto the big screen in the late-1970’s, Star Wars was not only a box-office sensation, but also one of the first movies to generate a product tie-in campaign that was worth millions of dollars.

While items such as the Luke Skywalker Lunch Box or the Princess Leia Galactic Berets have become highly sought-after treasures on the collectors circuit, others faltered out of the gate, forever lurking in obscurity, awaiting a second chance at fame.

Items like the Darth Vader Doily.

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http://www.crystalair.com/content.php?id=31200708009

The Recording Industry Association of America today announced that it was preparing to file suit against the state of Minnesota over last week’s Minneapolis bridge collapse that killed at least five people.

“We have no joy going forward with this suit, and our strong condolences go out to the families of everyone who lost their lives in this terrible incident,” said RIAA spokesman Jonathan Lamy. “But we feel that a copyright under our protection has been violated, and we are going to fight to assure that said copyright is honored.”

The copyright in question is the song “London Bridge Is Falling Down,” and Lamy and the RIAA are filing suit alleging that the Minneapolis bridge collapse - by design or coincidence - is close enough in context to the children’s song to warrant the lawsuit.

See the whole article at CAP News:

http://www.crystalair.com/content.php?id=91200708004