Monthly ArchiveJuly 2007
Entertainment admin on 26 Jul 2007
Linday Lohan Shaves Britney’s Head!
In yet another sign of a deepening addiction problem, a spokesman for Lindsay Lohan confirmed today that the actress was indeed the one responsible for Britney Spear’s second date with hair clippers this year.
“We can confirm that Lindsay broke out of the Urokey Rehabilitation Clinic late last night and was the one responsible for shaving Miss Spears,” a statement from the actress’s camp said. “While Lindsay regrets the incident and apologizes for the blatant cliché, she denies that the hair clippers in question actually belonged to her.”
“Shaving Britney has become the de facto hitting-rock-bottom of the young Hollywood set,” said celebrity psychologist Dr. Drew Androgen. “You take a razor to that, there’s no where else to go.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
Entertainment & Politics admin on 24 Jul 2007
CSI Pens a Toe-Tag For McCain
Seeking to breath life into his flagging presidential campaign, Sen. John McCain announced today that he will be appearing in a future episode of the hit CBS TV show, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
“I did a little acting when I was a prisoner of war, but gosh that was years ago,” McCain said at a campaign stop in Fleur d’Merde, Quebec. “Of course, my lines then were pretty simple: John McCain, Lieutenant Commander, Serial Number 899498-9855-9, ahhhhhhh!
“I’m looking forward to this new challenge,” he said.
Hollywood insiders told CAP News that apparently McCain’s ability to remain motionless will be more taxed than his ability to act.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Science & Technology admin on 11 Jul 2007
Google to Enter Dating Scene
Internet search giant Google announced today that it is expanding into yet another red-hot electronic arena: online dating. The company’s Google Dates will begin beta-tests in select markets as early as next week, with a planned full-rollout to take place in the next few months.
“With millions of desperately lonely people using Google at any given moment, we feel the environment is right to play matchmaker to people of like interests,” said Google spokesman Aaron Zamost. “At Google Dates, our motto will be, Search for something special, and someone special may find you.”
Google is hoping that its simplified approach to online dating will be one of its strongest features. Unlike traditional services like Match.com, people who sign up for Google Dates don’t need to input a lengthy profile before getting hooked-up. Users select a username, their region, gender and gender preference, and operating system. They can then upload a picture of themselves (optional). At this point, they are set to begin dating.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Entertainment & Politics admin on 09 Jul 2007
Republican Hopefuls Weigh in on Potter Mania
Harry Potter mania is heating up across the globe with the July release of both a new movie and the last book in the series, and Republican candidates for the presidency are taking notice with a number of statements geared toward appeasing the religious wedge of their right-wing base.
“This is an evil, evil little boy,” Arizona Senator John McCain said at a Fairbanks, Ala. fundraiser. “How’s that song go? Harry on my wayward son, there’ll be peace when you are, uh, burned at the stake.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
Living & U.S. admin on 07 Jul 2007
Eagle Delisting a Boon for Homeless Chef
Thirty years is a long time to wait between appetizer and entrée. Just ask Larry Elliot. In the early 1960’s, Elliot was an out-of-work hand model, forced to return to his native Missouri and an uncertain future.
“I used to do wart commercials and manly soap spots in Hollywood, but towards the end I was only getting stunt-hand jobs in second-rate porno projects,” Elliot said from his modest Missouri homeless shelter cubicle. “I thought, home has got to be better than this, but it weren’t.”
Homeless and hungry, Elliot turned to scavenging for his meals, subsisting on dumpster dives and road-kill ratatouille for sustenance. It was a bleak culinary existence, a dining depression that kept hitting low after low. Then one, day, all that changed.
See the whole article at CAP News:
