The Finite Times

Hollywood, Florida (FiniteTime.com) – Investigators looking into the death of Anna Nicole Smith admitted Friday that they were comparing notes with investigators looking into the attempted kidnapping and murder case involving astronaut Lisa Nowak.

“These are two high-profile cases in the same rough geographic neighborhood,” said Hollywood, Florida homicide detective Nick Brunello. “It’s only natural that we would get in touch with the Orlando investigation and see if there was any connection between the two cases.”

While Brunello admitted that it was physically impossible for Nowak to have been responsible for Smith’s death – the on-leave astronaut is currently back home in Houston being monitored with a GPS bracelet – he said that there are some things that tie the two cases together.

“The diapers for one,” said Brunello. “Take a pair of pantyhose and stuff a few watermelons into it, then remove the melons. This was essentially the state of Anna Nicole Smith, and by association, her urethra. She was obviously on the diapers, Nowak was wearing diapers… I’m just saying.”

Brunello denied that the 4012 media calls requesting a ratings-crushing linkage of the two stories had any bearing on his current investigatory angle.

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