Monthly ArchiveFebruary 2007
Politics editor on 22 Feb 2007
McCain Pins Presidential Hopes on His Smell
Los Angeles, CA (FiniteTimes.com) – GOP presidential hopeful John McCain on Wednesday plunged headlong into the male grooming industry by announcing the launch of his first cologne, Maverick for Men. The announcement took place at the end of a joint appearance with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on the docks of Los Angeles Harbor. Continue Reading »
Entertainment & US News editor on 21 Feb 2007
Extreme Makeover to Tackle Walter Reed
New York, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – The host of ABC’s Emmy-winning hit show Extreme Makeover, Home Edition confirmed Wednesday that the show would soon be enlisting an army of workmen to wage war on a very special target. Continue Reading »
Entertainment editor on 13 Feb 2007
Early Problem Plagues Police Tour
Paris, France (FiniteTimes.com) – Mere hours after announcing their first tour in almost 40 years, The Police have already run into a roadblock in the form or a 6’3” aging prostitute with a familiar name. Continue Reading »
Entertainment & US News editor on 12 Feb 2007
Anna Nicole Investigation Focuses on Errant Astronaut
Hollywood, Florida (FiniteTime.com) – Investigators looking into the death of Anna Nicole Smith admitted Friday that they were comparing notes with investigators looking into the attempted kidnapping and murder case involving astronaut Lisa Nowak. Continue Reading »
Entertainment & Business editor on 07 Feb 2007
Depends Drops Astronaut Spokeswoman
New York, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – The Depends undergarment company announced Wednesday that it is dropping astronaut Lisa Nowak as its official spokesperson following Nowak’s mace and BB-gun rampage targeting fellow NASA employee and love-rival Colleen Shipman. Continue Reading »
US News & Politics editor on 06 Feb 2007
Lower Budget Estimate Wins Congressional Praise
Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Republican lawmakers on Capitol Hill Tuesday were applauding the news that President Bush’s 2.9 trillion dollar budget would actually come in lower than originally predicted. Continue Reading »
US News & Science & Technology editor on 04 Feb 2007
Bush Efforts to Bribe a Rodent Unveiled
Punxsutawney, PA (FiniteTimes.com) – The spokesman for perennial spring prognosticator Punxsutawney Phil is lashing out at the Bush administration, claiming that bureaucrats from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration approached him late last year and offered him a “grant” to skew this year’s Groundhog Day results. Punxsutawney Tourism and Travel Coordinator Roger Peterson’s claims appear in this month’s issue of Science Magazine. Continue Reading »
US News & Business & Sports & Politics editor on 03 Feb 2007
Officials Cry Foul in Super Bowl Ad Slip
Miami, FL (FiniteTimes.com) – Officials for the National Football League publicly rebuked Senator Joseph Biden Saturday for “outing” a Senator Barack Obama Ivory soap ad that is scheduled to air during the Super Bowl. Continue Reading »