The Finite Times

Baghdad, Iraq (FiniteTimes.com) – Iraqi Interim Penal Minister Alaki al-Ashrani announced Friday that his country was preparing to sync its execution of former leader Saddam Hussein with the dropping of the New Year’s ball in New York’s Times Square.

“The ball drops, Saddam drops. Pop, pop, Happy New Year!” al-Ashrani said. “Out with the old garbage, in with the new. It’s our gift America to you!”

The move has left many in both the U.S. media and government struggling to come up with an appropriate response. ABC, home to Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2007, is mulling whether to scrap its plans to honor the venerable Clark by having everyone gathered in Times Square chant “Dick! Dick!” as the ball drops.

“I think in retrospect that would look a little taunt-ish, don’t you?” said a source at ABC. Politically, the stakes are also high when it comes to appropriate ways to handle the situation, with many Congressmen scrambling to come up with last-minute plane tickets.

“Trust me, and I don’t care what your political stripe: when that ball and Saddam’s fat ass both reach the end of their rides, you do not want to be in the wrong time zone,” said Washington insider Hugh Miller.

Meanwhile, “I was in Times Square when Saddam dropped” t-shirts have been selling briskly.

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