Monthly ArchiveFebruary 2006
U.S. admin on 24 Feb 2006
Steve Fossett To Seek Child Endangerment Record
The latest trend in the circles of the rich and famous - child endangerment - has some well-known highlights. There was Michael Jackson dangling his child over his hotel balcony; Courtney Cox and David Arquette naming their child Coco, assuring the girl several years of devastating psychological torture; Britney Spears being photographed recently driving with her child on her lap.
In terms of child endangerment, who can top these? Enter millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Sports admin on 20 Feb 2006
NASCAR to Toss Tracks for “Dragster Wheels”
Citing safety concerns, NASCAR officials have announced that they will be dropping their “endlessly go around in a circle on a track” model for an “endlessly go around in a circle in a hamster wheel” one.
“Essentially we’ll set up several dozen large ‘Dragster Wheels’ along the surface of existing race tracks,” NASCAR spokesman Billy Bob Barnes told CAP news. “Each car will be assigned to and set in a specific wheel, and the first one to reach the set number of rotations wins the race.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
Religion admin on 19 Feb 2006
Biblical Book Pusher Pulls Burning Bibles
In the wake of the 10th Alabama church fire, the Godswad Bible Company has announced that they are recalling some 14,000 of their signature “Read This Or Burn In Hell” specialty bibles.
“One of our shipping clerks first noticed that we supplied bibles to all the burnt churches,” said Godswad president Octavian Smith. “After researching the matter further, we can confirm that they do spontaneously burst into flames on occasion.”
No one is sure why the bibles can suddenly catch fire, but many affected churchgoers have their own theories.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Entertainment admin on 13 Feb 2006
DoCaprio Vies For Next Epic Shipwreck Flick
Out of tragedy, tickets.
Bubbles were still rising from the Friday wreck of the Egyptian ferry Boccaccio 98 when rumors started swirling that Mel Gibson was looking to lock down the rights to the tragedy. Gibson is reportedly seeking to film an operatic allegory of the Bible’s Exodus chapter, complete with ancient dialogue and more modern Titanic overtones.
The rumor was enough for Leonardo DiCaprio.
Neighbors of the actor have told CAP news that the Titanic actor has constructed a giant pyramid outside his West Hollywood mansion and has been seen posing in front of it dressed in ancient Egyptian clothing.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Business admin on 12 Feb 2006
IBM To Sell A Letter?
IBM, one of the most recognizable acronyms in the world, announced today that it was looking into the possibility of selling one of its letters.
The official announcement did not specify which one might be on the block, but several companies were scrambling to take advantage of this development.
Abercrombie & Fitch was one of the first companies to make an offer. The upscale clothing store chain has long sought to get more ghetto in an effort to appeal to affluent white teens, and by purchasing the ‘B’, Abercrombie & Bitch might just meet its goals.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Politics admin on 10 Feb 2006
Santorum Big Gay Award Winner
Nationally know gay lifestyle magazine StudBunnies has awarded its highest honor - Pretty Boy of the Year - to an unlikely person: Republican Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania.
At a press conference held at the StudBunnies Ranch just outside of San Francisco, magazine co-founders Mo Lawrence and Lance Delgado explained their controversial choice.
“When we first set out to do Pretty Boy of the Year, we intentionally made it apolitical,” said Lawrence. “It’s all about the beefcake, baby.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
Living & Politics & U.S. & Weather admin on 08 Feb 2006
Punxsutawney Phil Gitmo Bound
As he does every year on February 2, Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his Pennsylvania burrow and sought his shadow. This year, he saw it, meaning six more weeks of winter.
Then he saw the multiple shadows of law enforcement personnel, meaning indefinite detention at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.
The post-ceremonial arrest of Punxsutawney Phil capped off a three month investigation by federal agents from the FBI and US Marshals that also nabbed such second tier groundhogs as Springfield Sam, Bangor Bob and Cincinnati Sue. All are being held for engaging in terrorist activities under the Patriot Act.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Politics & Travel admin on 07 Feb 2006
Bush Tackles Many Tasks in Vietnam
The sputtering drone of a single-engine Cessna interrupts the stillness of a rice paddy just outside of Hanoi, Vietnam. Working peasants look up briefly to watch it slip along the horizon, stalling out and then dipping towards the ground before roaring to life and climbing back up from sure annihilation.
“Drunk Hai Quan steal crop duster again,” says one elderly Vietnamese man as he shakes his head.
“That no drunk Hai Quan, that President Bush,” says another. They all wearily watch as the plane wanders out of sight.
It took three decades and a mandate-shattering election, but President George W. Bush is finally fulfilling his commitment to the Texas Air National Guard with a series of solo flights over the uneasy Vietnamese countryside.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Politics admin on 05 Feb 2006
Sheehan Arrested in Presidential Potty
Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan was arrested early yesterday after trying to unfurl a very small banner in the bathroom of the White House living quarters.
She was detained briefly by the Secret Service before being turned over to the CIA for an all-expenses-paid trip to Saudi Arabia.
The banner read “2,245 Dead. How many more?” - a reference to the current number of US soldiers who have died in the Iraqi conflict.
See the whole article at CAP News:
Entertainment admin on 01 Feb 2006
Death Halts Jackass III Shooting
The tragic death of “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin has temporarily halted shooting of the third installment of the iconic Jackass movie franchise.
“Everyone here on the set is just crushed at Steve’s death. This is the first jackass we’ve ever lost,” said Jackass’ Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera in a prepared statement. “He was the heart and soul of Jackass III, which is still scheduled to hit theaters in November, 2008. Our prayers are with Steve’s family during this difficult time.”
See the whole article at CAP News:
