The Finite Times

(FiniteTimes.com) – Canadian health officials are downplaying the threat posed by an apparent outbreak of “Bush Flu” in their country. This comes in the wake of recent elections that saw Conservative Party leader Stephen Harper oust Liberal Party leader Paul Martin as Prime Minister.

“While there is some cause for concern, people should not automatically freak out,” a Canadian health official told The Finite Times. Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – Fresh off the success of its recent controversial but ratings-friendly docudrama “The Path to 9/11,” ABC’s parent company Walt Disney has announced a sweeping plan to remix many of its classic animation titles to bring them more in line with its new partisan edge.

“The world is a different place now than it was then,” said Disney spokesperson Daniella Howe at a recent press conference. “Then you had Communists and the domino effect. Now you have Democrats and terrorist cells. If the time isn’t right for the Uzi-toting, high-flying Republican sensibilities of ‘Rambo Dumbo,’ I don’t know when it will be.” Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – With the dust barely settled on the remnants of their political careers, two of the last Republican congressmen to fall to the Democratic midterm wave are turning to humor to cauterize their wounds.

“We were always cutting each other up on the floor of the Senate,” George Allen says as he and Conrad Burns practice routines in front of a captive audience at the Congressional Page Dorm. Continue Reading »