The Finite Times

(FiniteTimes.com) – While the majority of us woke up Tuesday morning prepared for a day filled with story after photo montage after rampant speculation concerning Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy, key Republican operatives woke up extremely pissed. Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – Did your patriotic duty and braved the throngs of well-stuffed shoppers on Black Friday, but you still haven’t maxed out all your credit cards? What’s a cog in the ever-hungry consumerist machine to do?

If the Republican Party has a say, you’ll be right out there on Wednesday – a day they’re calling “White Wednesday – to kick your shopping up a notch to the next level.

“Sure, you could slog it out with the takers and fight tooth and nail for a knock-off DVD player, but wouldn’t you like to buy something really cool, like a yacht?” asks Simon Paste, the party’s point-man for their new GOP Coloreds, Women, and The Poor Outreach program (GOPCWTP). Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) Let’s get this out of the way with right at the start: Mitt Romney is not having a very good week. It certainly started out pretty sweet. Both Illinois and the endorsement of Jeb Bush were huge for the former Massachusetts governor, but it was a chance comment by aide Eric Fehrnstrom that will haunt Romney through November and beyond. Fehrnstrom could have equated Romney with many classic games or toys, but he didn’t go with Mr. Wiggle ®, Slip n Slide ®, or Twister ®. No, he went with the Etch-a-Sketch ®, and a huge headache for the Romney campaign was born.

Um, Eric, Clue ® much?
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(FiniteTimes.com) – While many see last night’s debate misstep by Texas Governor Rick Perry as a potentially campaign-ending event for the beleaguered Republican hopeful, others claim it was a near-genius homage to a favored right-wing icon: Ronald Reagan. Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – Lawyers for potential Herman Cain sexual impropriety accusers began jockeying for position early Wednesday when a rumor swept the Internet that the 10th accuser would win a free lifetime’s supply of Godfather’s Pizza. Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – U.S. financial markets braced themselves for another crushing day of losses as Standard & Poor announced late Monday that it was downgrading the planet Earth.

“All those little countries out there, all the quibbling and squabbling and brinksmanship… I mean really, there is no common ground,” S&P said in a statement. “Try to cater a UN luncheon sometime and tell us how much the world’s people have in common.” Continue Reading »

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Showing that you don’t necessarily need a staff to run for president, Newt Gingrich today launched his new, personally-designed “I’ve Been Newtered!” branding effort.

(FiniteTimes.com) – Newsweek Editor-in-Chief Tina Brown is apparently riding her Diana at 50 controversy to new heights with the announcement today that she will be commemorating the King of Pop’s death with an upcoming duet song and video.

“Production and licensing problems have pushed the project back a little later than had been hoped, but it is true: Tina Brown and Michael Jackson will be releasing a duet of ‘Beat It’ at some point next week,” a source said. Continue Reading »

(FiniteTimes.com) – Just a day after joining his Senate colleague Tom Coburn in an announcement of a bipartisan plan to save Medicare, Joe Lieberman was again in front of the Capitol Hill press corps to reveal his plan to fix the deficit.

“You and I know that everyone making $10,000 a year, from Alabama to Wyoming, secretly knows they will one day be millionaires. It’s the American way,” Lieberman said. “Why else would they be voting for a Republican party that so poorly represents their interests?
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