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Politics editor on 01 Feb 2008

And It’s Down To Two…

US News & Politics editor on 17 Apr 2007

Gonzales Mulls Senate Strategy

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Due to the Virginia Tech shooting tragedy, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has been granted an additional two days to prepare for his testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee. It is time, experts believe, that he may be using to consider an unconventional testimonial strategy. Continue Reading »

Entertainment & US News editor on 09 Apr 2007

Hos Call For Imus Ouster

New York, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – Lost in the racially-charged pile-on over remarks radio personality Don Imus made last week, the angry cries from the New York Prostitution Union (NYPU) echo the message being put forth by larger groups like the National Association of Black Journalists and the NAACP: Imus must go. Continue Reading »

World News editor on 03 Apr 2007

Tehran Closes in on Hostage Record

Somewhere North of Tehran, Iran (FiniteTimes.com) – By Ahmed Allah al Allat’s estimates, he has another 23 pots of Islamic gruel left to make before he enters the record books. Continue Reading »

Politics editor on 22 Feb 2007

McCain Pins Presidential Hopes on His Smell

Los Angeles, CA (FiniteTimes.com) – GOP presidential hopeful John McCain on Wednesday plunged headlong into the male grooming industry by announcing the launch of his first cologne, Maverick for Men. The announcement took place at the end of a joint appearance with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on the docks of Los Angeles Harbor. Continue Reading »

Entertainment & US News editor on 21 Feb 2007

Extreme Makeover to Tackle Walter Reed

New York, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – The host of ABC’s Emmy-winning hit show Extreme Makeover, Home Edition confirmed Wednesday that the show would soon be enlisting an army of workmen to wage war on a very special target. Continue Reading »

Entertainment editor on 13 Feb 2007

Early Problem Plagues Police Tour

Paris, France (FiniteTimes.com) – Mere hours after announcing their first tour in almost 40 years, The Police have already run into a roadblock in the form or a 6’3” aging prostitute with a familiar name. Continue Reading »

Entertainment & US News editor on 12 Feb 2007

Anna Nicole Investigation Focuses on Errant Astronaut

Hollywood, Florida (FiniteTime.com) – Investigators looking into the death of Anna Nicole Smith admitted Friday that they were comparing notes with investigators looking into the attempted kidnapping and murder case involving astronaut Lisa Nowak. Continue Reading »

Entertainment & Business editor on 07 Feb 2007

Depends Drops Astronaut Spokeswoman

New York, NY (FiniteTimes.com) – The Depends undergarment company announced Wednesday that it is dropping astronaut Lisa Nowak as its official spokesperson following Nowak’s mace and BB-gun rampage targeting fellow NASA employee and love-rival Colleen Shipman. Continue Reading »

US News & Politics editor on 06 Feb 2007

Lower Budget Estimate Wins Congressional Praise

Washington, DC (FiniteTimes.com) – Republican lawmakers on Capitol Hill Tuesday were applauding the news that President Bush’s 2.9 trillion dollar budget would actually come in lower than originally predicted. Continue Reading »

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